Diary Of a Sinner

Need To Talk....

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 04:54:37 GMT

ok i was just chillin at my house when the phone rings and it was her, my fantasy dame. i was so0o0o0o0o0 happy. then all she wanted to knoe was if i LOVED jessika. ok i knoe sum people are going to get mad at this but oh well. courtney - nobody can EVER replace you U NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. AND PROBABLY NEVER LOVE ANYBODY OTHER THAN YOU. but off that topic if u see this then call me cuz WE REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOME THINGS. but ima go to bed so i will cath ya later. PLZ CALL ME SOON

Man You Missed Yhe Urinal....

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 05:53:38 GMT

oh man i got my cookies 2 dae lol. but n e way me anthony and jared went to wendy and we were actin a fool. we were laughin so hard that j started to choke. we were laffin so hard man. then he was jumpin around.(usually when u laff alot you start jumpin around)but then he ran to the bathroom. ha came back waddlin we were like y u walkin all funny. then he lifted his shirt AND HE PISSED HIS PANTS. man it was funny. as we were goin bac we had to cross the highway and as we did somebody screamed my name. i looked and it was my homegurl savannah. i stoped to see what was goin down then j came runnin up and he fell right infront of like 50 people. and when i fell i mean HE ATE IT....HARD. but the best part of the night is when he missed the urinal..

I Did It All For The....Cookies

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 05:36:40 GMT

OK so i went back to the pool 2dae just to swim with neri. but there was a new gaurd. hehe time to give her hell. so when she oped the board we asked her to close them. then whne she did we asked her to open them. she wouldnt(she cought on quick).so then i got the cordless phone wich we had called with a cell phone. then i gave it to her and said it was for her. when she answerd it i said yeah can you open the boards. haha but then i gave her this note, and i said it was from our boss jamie. she opend it and it said "open the boards" lol but then she asked if i would cover her shift for her....(manditory record scratch noise) WHAT she has to be shittin me. she said she would bake me some cookies and it was a bet from there. so yeah i did it all for the nookie...i mean cookies

Ok so defanitly this is wrong....

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 07:56:15 GMT

ok wow i got called into work at the pool for the first time in like a year. so as im workin doin my thang, these 11yr old gurls come up and start tryin to holla at me. i think it was funny as hell. so i was goin along with it like i was gonna smash. then i was like "How old are yall" they were like "11 and we want you" i was like cool ill go with ya. they were like really. then i was like NO EWWWWWWWWW. they were like "what" i was like "theres a 4 letter word keepin me from bein with yall" "J-A-I-L" i found it funny as hell. sigh......just another day at the pool.

Near Death Expereince......

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 06:14:13 GMT

OK i was outwith jr and i was like OH SHIT. he was like WHAT DUDE. then i was like I GOTTA GO HOME.he was like ILL GET U THERE ASAP. so we were speeding alang and we were talking and i was like DUDE, he said hold up, i was like DUDE he said HOLD UP, then i was lik DUDE!!!!!!! RED LIGHT. he was like OH SHUT!!!!! then he slammed on the brakes. as we slid for like 30ft and we finaly came to a stop. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION. he threw it in reverse and as he did the light turned green and cars were FLYING by we almist shit our pants. man it was funn,,,,

3rd Times A Charm.....

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 06:22:39 GMT

OK i got stood up by three groups of people 2dae. thanx for tankin me along for the ride. yall suck. i was supposed to go to the ludacris/lil ding-aling(chingy)/david banner concert but lack of friendship disabled me from goin......let just forget about ya boi...

Still Strugglin....

Mon, 15 Mar 2004 06:33:30 GMT

Man im still upset about some things. sorry courtney i will leave you out from now on. but n e way me and jr were chillin and reflectin on shyt. OMG the loser across the street got me bac good. she broke into my house and put up pictures that said i was gay. ALL OVER MY ROOM. it was pritty funny. but she won the battle not the war! well i have a lot to say but i made promises that i wont. so ima just end it herre.

Into Evan Smaller Pecies....

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 03:05:27 GMT

Remember How i said that courtney smashed my heart into like a billion pecies? well 2dae i got more news..and it felt like my heart(now in a billion peaces) was smasehd again so i have like 50 billion pecies. OMG it hurt soooooooooooooooooooo bad. the fact of what happend didnt hurt as much is the fact that she lied to me soooo much. it seems like everyday i fond out somethin new she lied about. but this one by far was the worst. i am not going to say what happend. but just to get a fell for what happend. just imagin the worst thing your ex could tell u. yeah then multiply it by 150,000. its to the point that how do i know she tells me the truth at all. how do i knoe she loved me? how do i knoe she actually cares? how do i know that i evan matter to her? but i dont knoe. but i do knoe is that i am goin to cry myself to sleep 2night..............

Too Good To Be True...

Sat, 13 Mar 2004 05:10:43 GMT

After school i walked courtney halfway home, we were talkin about how we used to be and stuff it really made me happy talkin w/ her 1-on-1. she told me i couldnt walk her all the way home. i figured it was cuz her mom was not thurr wich was always the case when we were goin out. so i walked her to grisham with a big smile i told her good bye, is i started to walk home when i happen to glace back. i saw her crossing the street. thinkin to myself "y the hell is she crossing the street, when she live on the side she was on?" then i glace over to grisham b-ball court to see if there was n e body thurr. and there were. one of them was her "soon to be bf" as i call him cuz i seriously think that if she wants a bf it will be him. earlyer when we were walkin she said that nomatter what happens that she will always love me. that made me so happy, then it hit me like a metaphorical sluge hammer to the heart. were talkin and in a way "gettin closer" mentally(and kinda romatically) the she says that i cant hang w/ her n e more cuz he was thurr. well she didnt actually say that but i pcked it up when i put the 2 2gether. she could hav atleast told me that she was gonna meet him up thurr. that way i didnt hate myself for getting so happy. i mean i thought that she really truthfully cared about me for a min. huh, how retarted am i? i guess pritty retarted....

Back For The First Time....

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 06:46:40 GMT

Well 2dae i talk to amanda for like the first tim in like a year. i missed her man we had so much fun last simmer.(not wat u think jess)but it seems like she is goin thru sum problems. i wish i could help. but what can u do right. she talkin bout killin herself. man it seems like erryone wants do that nowadays. but n e way. im jus sittin here playin NFL Street, yeah and im listin to sum Color Changin Click, yeah i am so hyped. i wanna just go play strret football now. well ima go try to run around the house pretendin im warren sapp or sumthin.

When I Was Down Nobody Gave A Damn, Or Gave A Hand, Fuck'em Im About To Blaze My Band......

Thu, 11 Mar 2004 06:31:58 GMT

ok to all yall moter fuckas sayin shyt, u need to shut the fuck up! 4 real. talkin bout me goin out with the wrong gurl, talkin bout she a slut. well maby yall should knoe a bit b 4 u start to diss(courtney i aint mad at u, those other hataz). u talkin bout "nick man u should wait for courtney to come back" well i would but COURTNEY AINT COMIN BAC TO ME. as much as i wish she would but she wnt. and to all yall who think ur part of my crew. yall ould know if u were so stop askin for me to sho sum love. sayin shyt like "nick just remeber me when u get famous" well the only people that get recognized as of right now is Courtney- u always told me to go 4 my dreams, thank you so much for your love and support, missy- cuz u my homgurl, i need to sho sum love cuz u helped me so much, ner- u got my bac and i respect that, evan tho u cant rap. and more peeps who helped/help COMTRIBUTE to my success not just sayin that shit like "go 4 it dude" dnt get this shyt twisted u know who u are you dumbass mother fuckers....watch ya back

So MY Minds Gone Halfcrazy, Cuz I Cant Leave You Alone....

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 04:33:41 GMT

ok wow. i dnt get ut. courtney says that she loves me but then she turns around and says stuff like we will never be happly 2gether again. that makes me sad. evan tho im wiht jess i still kinda wish i was bac w/ courtney. sum times she makes me so mad. but i cant saty mad because i actually LOVE her(unlike sum people)ok it has come to my attention that, sum people get mad at what i write in herre. well this si my private journal and ur really not supposed to know whats writtin in here. but n e way she says she still loves me, well god gomme a sign. if we were ment to be, give me a sigh. ok tyme 4 my prair. "lord, please help me with courtney, please give me strngth to deal with this mess, please help me. Lord please help me get the person that is right for me" i know im not a religeous man. but i hope i can het my wishes. well ima go pray and hopefully dream of the things that i wish 4, but some times be carefull what u wish 4.

An Ok Day...

Tue, 09 Mar 2004 05:37:08 GMT

2dae neri and sharly were chillin 4 a while on da couch in the garage. the we came into the game room and watched The Big Hit. Man i love that movie. after that i started writing some flows, man they tight. if u read this and u know black jr tell him 2call me asap. i am so happy that courtney is not mad at ne ne more. well i think she still mad but at least she talks to me. well thats all 4 the day im off 2be lata.

Still Writing In My Diray.....

Mon, 08 Mar 2004 04:17:05 GMT

ok 2dae jess 1 the cheerleading nationals. i was the only person to say that she would win. i should of bet her. DAMN. ok well its oficial i HATE DRAMA. but n e way, omg neri left like, all of his stuff, like...let me check...ok 2 shitrs, shorts, and 2 pair of boxers...wait y was neri taking off his boxers at muh house? 2 dae me, my madre, my 2nd madre Merri, and frank-en-stien went to 'yack-in-da-box' and then we wnt to dave & busters just to play the games. is that not ghetto? ok right now im watchin south park and jess is makin me listen to Nick LaGay...er i mean Nick LaShay, hahaha well im also eatin a burger so im out. i will holla at cha lata

Thats Just Not Right.....

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 06:28:26 GMT

Ok 2day i was chillin w/ sarah and sharly and we rented that movie "THE EXCORSIST" come to find out that her grandma freeked out sayin shyt like "the devil is not alowed in my house" hahaha it was pritty funny. so we went bac 2 hollywood video and we rented "CANDYMAN" so we started to watch it when their dog had her period!!!!! AHHHHH is that not nasty. but wait theirs more, THEN THE DOG LICKED IT UP!!!!!!! thats just not right....... man i didnt evan knoe dogs had periods. wow i guess i have a lot to lern about the k-9 race. well n e way sarah dared me to do the candy man thin, ya know say his name 5 time in front of the mirror. i didnt get to do it, but u knoe me... i am going to. well right now im sittin her waitin 4 my fantisy dame to to come to terms, and realiz where her heart needs 2 be. its weird, now that ive "moved on" i just think about her more, sorry jess but its true. well n e way i dnt think my dreams will come tru so i will have to take what i can get. and right now thats not evan looin so good. right now in thinkin about differnt options, runnaway? suicide? just take it? whatever it is i hope i know what im doing.......

God Damn Dance....

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 05:26:05 GMT

Damnit 2dae i tried to go to that under 18 club thin that we have all seen the commercials 4. so we drove out ot chapperall ice where thay said it would be, we see a hockey game going on, so we leave then we called one of my friends and she said that it was near tinsletown. so we drive over there and we cant find it. we stop at a kwick-e-mart so i can get some directions....and sum doritos. and the damn afgahn dude is acusing me of robbing his store, when i didnt. so we call another friend and he said it was on the 2nd floor at chapperel ice. so we drive back to there. come to find out that this whole thing has been canceled because of 2 many fights in the parkinglot. so basically we wnt on a wild goose chase. well what the hell. but n e way me charly, sarah , and sarah's friend ashton had sum serious fun in that car ride...but what the hell.

w/o u is like, bein in the desert with no map IM LOST

Fri, 05 Mar 2004 03:29:42 GMT

Ok courtney found out 2dae, well life goes on. i just hope i dont lose her as a friend. she means a LOT 2 me. wow this weekend is gonna suck. im goin 2 a party tho. me and brighet is goin 2gether. man jess in in houston cuz of cheerleading nationals. she better call me. on a lighter note im just sittin here watchin the most extream japenese elimanation challange show on spike tv. MAN THIS SHOW IS SO F****N TIGHT. well ima bout to eat dinner, man i want sum chinese food. mmmmmm chinese food. well diner is herre, (Its spagetthi) so ill holla at cha lata

Jus Laxin Around Da Casa

Thu, 04 Mar 2004 04:06:11 GMT

Well 2dae i stayed home sick, and man after i woke up at 1:45 i was BORED as hell. then the loser across the street came over(jk tiff ya know i luv ya) we hung out 4 a while. then i watched sum tv. Fun day huh? Well right now im waitin for madre to come home w/ sum wendys. Man i love wendys. Today i got an email from my couzin AMY and i found out that ive had a couzin for a month. im mad at her 4 not tellin me. but ne way. i found out a way to get my demo tape 2gether. thanks to JR. well will have to follow up on that. get my tape recorded. well im out

Let a Man Wish...

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 04:55:50 GMT

damn, i wish my life was a little fuller(so till my fantasy dame pop up, every time the cell rings i b prayin her name pops up(you should know who you are))4 real tho, np matter what happens, my life will continue to suck. i need a life. i need a life filled with stories. stories that i can tell. stories that i will remember 20 yrs down the road. stories that i will remeber and b like "damn i wish that could happen again." i think im livin my life in the whole wrong way, i mean i get to school early for a person that doesnt evan love me n e more! i thinl i need to do sumpthin durastic. but i dunno. i pray to the lord that he will guide me throu this hard times,(and to you know who-im sorry but this is how i feel) lost my mind. i lost my soul, and worst of all, I LOST MY LOVE. whatever happens i pray she makes the right desisions. evan if its not with me. as long as we stay close friends, i guess thats all that matters. i hope she knows that if she has a problem then she can run to me. but....well....i dunno.i have like 4 wishes. all i can hope is that they come true. .......let a man wish

Sorry I Dnt Speak Loser

Mon, 01 Mar 2004 02:55:10 GMT

OMG ok today, me and mexican plated THE funnyest joke on Tiffany. she I/m me and i told her that i dont speal loser. se replied that she doesnt speak gay. so me and mexican put up a sign n her window that read "if you read this you are a LOSER", then we snuck into her backyard, and posted a note that said "if you are lookin at this you are a loser", then we put a note in her mailbox that said "your a loser if you checking your mail" LOL it was soooooooo funny. But N E Way Some People Came to visit me i wish they could have satayed longer, but beggers cant be choosers right? Well ima go cuz im gon go to bed soon.

Messed Up

Sun, 29 Feb 2004 08:33:03 GMT

Aiigth Check This, I Had 6 Shots Of Tequala, And Man Am i Tipsy. Well N E Way. Im Thankn That Me And Skankface Will Reamin Close. LIke Things Between Us Will Be Aiight. The Bad Part Is That I still Love Courtney. I Thank She Pissed At Me Tho. But Who Cuures Right? Well I Do But She Bein Mean Lately. Well Me And Emily Hung Out For LIke The First Time In Like 3 Yrs. But I had Sooooo Much Fun Well Its Late So Ima Go. Well JOURNAL Ill Holla At Cha Lata.